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Name: Heather
Location: Michigan, United States
Birthday: 1/7/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: The threes S's Swimming softball and shopping
Expertise: Taking over the world *insert evil laugh here* but im a pretty good swimmer and trombonist
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/15/2002
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| My parents hate me
i can see it in their eyes
i don't talk to them
i promise them lies
my mom yelled at be
and i just bursted out into tears...without even knowing why
and she kept saying that i was crying because of this that and the other...
when it wasn't because of that
she assumes and makes me feel like shit
when i already do feel like shit
so i guess i feel like that sad broken hearted lover that is crying and steps in to the shit and slips and falls while a car speeds by splashing all this water over him
yea
thats how i feel
and they don't care
"do this that and the other Heather"
the only time they ever care whats wrong is when im crying
like today
"ashley says you have problems so what seems to be the problem"
ashley didn't even tell her i had problems
shes such a lier
i hate it
i need out of this house
i need someone to care for me
because i've been used yet again by Donny
and i can't stand it
i don't know how to feel
or what to say
so i end up crying for no reason...
all i want is someone to love.... | | |
| self evident
yes,
us people are just poems
we're 90% metaphor
with a leanness of meaning
approaching hyper-distillation
and once upon a time
we were moonshine
rushing down the throat of a giraffe
yes, rushing down the long hallway
despite what the p.a. announcement says
yes, rushing down the long stairs
with the whiskey of eternity
fermented and distilled
to eighteen minutes
burning down our throats
down the hall
down the stairs
in a building so tall
that it will always be there
yes, it's part of a pair
there on the bow of noah's ark
the most prestigious couple
just kickin back parked
against a perfectly blue sky
on a morning beatific
in its indian summer breeze
on the day that america
fell to its knees
after strutting around for a century
without saying thank you
or please
and the shock was subsonic
and the smoke was deafening
between the setup and the punch line
cuz we were all on time for work that day
we all boarded that plane for to fly
and then while the fires were raging
we all climbed up on the windowsill
and then we all held hands
and jumped into the sky
and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast
and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed
and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar
looked more like war than anything i've seen so far
so far
so far
so fierce and ingenious
a poetic specter so far gone
that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling
over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on
and i'll tell you what, while we're at it
you can keep the pentagon
keep the propaganda
keep each and every tv
that's been trying to convince me
to participate
in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution
perpetuate retribution
even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution
is still hanging in the air
and there's ash on our shoes
and there's ash in our hair
and there's a fine silt on every mantle
from hell's kitchen to brooklyn
and the streets are full of stories
sudden twists and near misses
and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters
with tales of narrowly averted disasters
and the whiskey is flowin
like never before
as all over the country
folks just shake their heads
and pour
so here's a toast to all the folks who live in palestine
afghanistan
iraq
el salvador
here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation
under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore
here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors
who daily provide women with a choice
who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city
just to listen to a young woman's voice
here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now
awaiting the executioner's guillotine
who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads
to find peace in the form of a dream
cuz take away our playstations
and we are a third world nation
under the thumb of some blue blood royal son
who stole the oval office and that phony election
i mean
it don't take a weatherman
to look around and see the weather
jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks
and boy did he ever
and we hold these truths to be self evident:
#1 george w. bush is not president
#2 america is not a true democracy
#3 the media is not fooling me
cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation
i've got no room for a lie so verbose
i'm looking out over my whole human family
and i'm raising my glass in a toast
here's to our last drink of fossil fuels
let us vow to get off of this sauce
shoo away the swarms of commuter planes
and find that train ticket we lost
cuz once upon a time the line followed the river
and peeked into all the backyards
and the laundry was waving
the graffiti was teasing us
from brick walls and bridges
we were rolling over ridges
through valleys
under stars
i dream of touring like duke ellington
in my own railroad car
i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches
in a grand station aglow with grace
and then standing out on the platform
and feeling the air on my face
give back the night its distant whistle
give the darkness back its soul
give the big oil companies the finger finally
and relearn how to rock-n-roll
yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there
so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets
and clear the air
get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand
of someone else's desert
put it back in its pants
and quit the hypocritical chants of
freedom forever
cuz when one lone phone rang
in two thousand and one
at ten after nine
on nine one one
which is the number we all called
when that lone phone rang right off the wall
right off our desk and down the long hall
down the long stairs
in a building so tall
that the whole world turned
just to watch it fall
and while we're at it
remember the first time around?
the bomb?
the ryder truck?
the parking garage?
the princess that didn't even feel the pea?
remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D?
can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design
following a fantastical reversal of the new york skyline?!
it was a joke, of course
it was a joke
at the time
and that was just a few years ago
so let the record show
that the FBI was all over that case
that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face
and scoping that scene
religiously
the CIA
or is it KGB?
committing countless crimes against humanity
with this kind of eventuality
as its excuse
for abuse after expensive abuse
and it didn't have a clue
look, another window to see through
way up here
on the 104th floor
look
another key
another door
10% literal
90% metaphor
3000 some poems disguised as people
on an almost too perfect day
should be more than pawns
in some asshole's passion play
so now it's your job
and it's my job
to make it that way
to make sure they didn't die in vain
sshhhhhh....
baby listen
hear the train?
-Ani DiFranco | | |
| i hate being a girl
i hate having my period
I always get so....i don't know....emotional?
I just can't seem to say no when im on my period.
"Do you like Shawn?" a little
"i thought you didn't like me that way" I don't know who I like but you've been on my mind
"Who do you like?" Kyle and James
God I'm such a whore
i don't know what i am doing or who i like or whats going on
i am so confused
the only thing i am not confused about it soccer
i really would like to make the team
that would be awesome...I think i have a shot but im not sure
I know the coaches have noticed me while we were having conditioning because one of them said something to me
and when i came to the meeting yesterday Mr G. remembered my face and what sport i did in the fall and winter (swimming)
"if only, if only"
James got pissed at me and Jess because i asked her "is it just me or does "lets just be friends" mean "im going to ignore you"?" jess put that in her info (because justin had recently broke up with her) and james starts yelling at her because he thought it was about him. Boy he must have felt pretty stupid when jess told him it wasn't..
oh well he needs to learn i don't constantly talk about him and when i do talk about him it is never really bad
thats what i hated...he always thought i talked bad about him
eh...oh well
do you guys remember how i wrote about a guy named Donny?
well hes back
and he remembered everything
from calling me "heather, my love" to us planning to get married..
too bad hes too old for me
but i can still hang out with him and have fun
well thats all for now | | |
| *sigh* i started writing about james in my lj...and today i found out that he reads it
oh well i guess i'll just write about james in here
he told me he had to be realistic about things
*sigh*
i guess im too fake?
ABHSThorpedo (3:43:46 PM): look, i felt empty after i realized nothing could happen between us
ABHSThorpedo (3:43:55 PM): age, me leaving, etc
ABHSThorpedo (3:43:58 PM): there are problems
ABHSThorpedo (3:44:15 PM): and im not going to start something just so it gets destroyed by circumstance
FeelinSexy123 (3:44:21 PM): ok
ABHSThorpedo (3:44:37 PM): so please dont hate me
there isn't problems its just the fact that hes to damn stupid to give me a fucking chance
eh fuck life...im always getting screwed...and i don't even get to have the fun! | | |
| this weekend was the best weekend i had in a very very very long time.
james invited me to HIS HOUSE!!! of course...he invited the whole swim team cuz it was a party but he invited me as well!! even though i bet coach didn't want me to go...hahaha
James is absolutly gorgeous
i mean i thought that when he had hair
but now he shaved it all off for the league meet and he STILL is gorgeous!!!!!
*sigh*
you have no idea how bad i wanted to kiss him tonite
and you wanna know what?
hes not one of them 'cocky' kind of guys
hes a dork
but hes still gorgeous!!!
hehe
in his room..instead of the porn magazines he has stacks of car magazines
he plays video games all the time
he play knowledge games all the time
this guy is absolutly perfect
for now anyways
hes also going to MSU
HE LIKES THE SPARTANS!!!
YAY!!!
me and Jess were talking about college and she said that she would room with me in the dorms cuz we both wanna go to MSU!!
She also said that next year i can be in her group for homecoming. that'll be so cool.
i am actually really happy
and kind of sad
because i just realized last night that james is leaving in 5 months for college
which is (jess told me this) one of the reasons he hasn't asked me out yet...because hes going to be leaving soon.
james talks to jess about me alot
he told her that he would ask me out in a second but the whole age factor (im 3 years younger than him)
ok this is stupid...i talk to much about james
im sorry for all of you that actually read this...i must be boring you to tears with this stuff
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